Date: October 8, 2023 

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 4:8-16

Sermon Title: “The Gifts of Misfit” Sermon Series on Loneliness #5 “Misfit and Loneliness” 

Preacher: Rev. Dr. Bob Jon

You can also listen on Podcast from iTunes and Spotify. Search for “Podcasting from Rev. Bob Jon.”

It was sometime back in the summer of 2005. I was studying at the library of the seminary in Boston. All of a sudden, a library staff came and shouted at about ten students reading a book or working on their paper, “Is there a Christian here?” I looked around and saw no one raised their hand. I thought, “Shame on you! You are preparing to be a pastor. And yet, you do not have the courage to raise your hand and proudly say that you are a Christian?” So, I raised my hand and said, “Yes, I am a Christian!” The staff looked puzzled and said to me, “So, is your name Christian?” I answered, “No, I am not,” while others quietly giggled. 

Have you felt like you were a misfit in the middle of a group? You may ask, “What do you mean by misfit?” According to the Webster’s Dictionary, it means “something that fits badly” or “a person who is poorly adapted to a situation or environment.” There is a norm for our society that expects us to behave in a certain way. You are born. You go to school. You make friends. You go to the prom. You graduate and go to college. You find someone you will spend the rest of your life with. You give birth to your children. You do your best to raise them by going to the work you do not even like. You retire. You pick up your grandchildren at their daycare. There is a certain code that we need to adapt. Otherwise, we stick out as odd. We do not belong. 

I wonder if some of you have felt like a misfit in your social circle. If you are a child of a Methodist pastor, you always move around, being introduced as the new kid. If your parent was with the military, I am sure that is what you felt. You might have had some developmental issues. I once met someone who struggled with stuttering as a kid. He did not have that problem anymore, but he still wrestled with the trauma from his childhood, being ridiculed by others. You could be a kid from a rural area going to a suburban school. It could be about your race. Or it could be about your sexual orientation or the way you are dressed. You do not belong. 

Some years ago, I attended a conference where we sat down to talk about the impact of racism in our society. For those who believe that we are living in a post-racial society, it might be difficult to accept that we are still dealing with racism. There was this black woman in our group who shared that she and her family lived in a nice suburban area in Massachusetts. As a graduating gift for her son, she bought him a sedan with subwoofers. And her friend said something to her like she was one of the most irresponsible mothers. She said, “Are you trying to get your son killed?” It was obvious that her family was a misfit in the rich neighborhood. They did not belong there. 

Being a misfit comes with a painful consequence. You are alone. No one wants to be with you. No one will understand what you are going through. You do not belong. Leon Seltzer, a psychologist, says that these misfits “feel embarrassed, ashamed, isolated, or lonely as though they were square pegs trying futilely to fit into a round hole.” And interestingly, the Bible is full of people like that. Moses grew up as the prince of Egypt while his fellow Hebrews suffered under the oppression of Pharaoh. Rahab in Jericho saved the lives of the Israelite scouts and later lived as a gentile among the Hebrews. Ruth, a woman from Moab, a Gentile root, who followed her mother-in-law Naomi and lived in a foreign land. But God worked God’s redemptive work through these people, the misfit. 

And Jesus himself called the misfits in his society to come and follow him. If he wanted to make a history of turning the world upside down, wouldn’t it make better sense for him to go chase after the most intellectual, the richest, and the most powerful people in his society? Instead, he goes around calling the fishermen and tax collectors, one of the most despised in his community. He even told the pastors and seminary professors in his time and said, “Well, I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you.” When there are perfectly good people over there, he instead calls the misfits to come and tell them, “You belong in the kingdom of God.” 

As a matter of fact, Jesus himself is a misfit. While there are societal norms to define who is the privileged and the blessed in our society, his preaching turned those rules upside down as he preached in the mountain, “Blessed are poor in spirit, mourn the loss of a loved one, hunger and thirst for righteousness, make peace in the midst of conflict, are persecuted, and are slandered and discredited.” He even tells us to love our enemies, pray for our persecutors, and acknowledge that God sends rain on both the righteous and the unrighteous.” Misfits are those who have tasted what it is like to be in the kingdom of God, the unmerited grace of God. 

This past Monday, I was growing anxious with my wife. Our oldest son, Daniel, took a neuropsychological assessment a month ago. We were always concerned that he wrestled with his speech. We thought that it was due to his dual languages, dealing with dual cultures. However, his speech delay, coupled with his poor academic performance, led Daniel to take this new assessment. As we sat with the test examiner, she said, “I think that Daniel is on the autism spectrum.” And she started pointing out many factors to determine such a result. She said, “I am afraid that his lack of social skills might lead him to be the target of bullying.” Misfit. 

My wife started sobbing with tears. It is one thing to hear that there is something wrong with us. But how do we deal when we are told that there is something wrong with our children? He already sticks out in this society as a Korean American. And now this diagnosis gives him another reason to be a misfit. As both my wife and I were trying to make sense of this news, the examiner also said, “But I also believe that Daniel has many strengths. He is such a happy boy. He is always smiling. And despite some difficult questions, he never gave up.” And I thought that was his gift as a misfit. In all circumstances, Daniel smiles and gives thanks for being loved by his family, reminding me of the unconditional love of God. 

Paul says that we are Christ’s misfits. People in this world are seeking security and assurance. But we embrace frailties and uncertainties as an opportunity to follow the guidance of God. People in this world seek to be affirmed and praised by others. But we Christians embrace and ridicule the consequences of following Christ. When people gossip about us, we bless them and say good things about them. In this world where people are afraid of being a misfit, Paul tells us to be the misfits of Christ by loving our enemies, forgiving sinners, embracing strangers, and giving thanks to God. 

It is a strange way of existing in this world, not just individually, but also communally as a church. Stanley Hauerwas and Willimon Willimon call the essential identity of Christians the “resident aliens.” We live in this world, but we do not belong to it. They say, “We believe that many Christians do not fully appreciate the odd way in which the church, when it is most faithful, goes about its business. We want to claim the church’s “oddness” as essential to its faithfulness. 

Dearly beloved, they say that many people are wrestling with loneliness today. That is the new epidemic, they say. And we feel lonely when we are sick, when we grieve, when we rely on social media, or when we are the misfit. But God, who raised Christ from death tells us and assures us that there is nothing to separate us from the love of God, not the pandemic, not the violence, not even death. And we, people of the resurrection, are called to be the misfits in our world today, being the light and salt of the world, witnessing and living out the coming kingdom of God among us today. 

Amen.